Archive for July, 2017

July 23, 2017

I attempt to be interesting

The guy who gives me my coffee likes to chat. He asks me what I’m doing today. Because I am usually going to Tesco, I tell him that. I can’t help thinking that this is not the most exciting of replies. I am considering inventing scenarios to make my day sound a little more interesting.

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July 8, 2017

The sum total of my knowledge: 12 things that I know

On that momentous day, March 10, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell stood nervously but excited, staring at his invention. Did he know what wonders his telephone would bring to the world? Did he foresee the advances that would appear in the years to come? What thoughts and dreams rushed through his mind at that moment? What hopes did he have for the new era of communication that was to be heralded by this momentous occasion? And then – the telephone rang. Nervously, he reached and picked up the receiver. And he heard those famous words: “Our records indicate that you were involved in a non-blame accident. Our team of experts are available to help you make a claim on a ‘no win, no fee’ basis”.

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July 2, 2017

A predictable poem

My predictive text is a bit clever. Maybe a bit too clever. It’s no longer happy with guessing the word I’m typing. It now wants to guess the next word that I will type, before I’ve started to type it. If I type “choc”, it guesses I want to type “chocolate”. ¬†Fair enough. But once it has typed in “chocolate” for me, it’s already suggesting that “chip” is the next word. And once I accept that, it suggests that the next word is “cookie”. Maybe it’s been secretly monitoring my food intake and knows how much I like chocolate chip cookies.

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